What are some signs that a therapist is a bad fit or a good fit for you?

Signs of a bad fit Signs of a good fit
You feel judged or ashamed. You feel heard and even better, understood.
The therapist talks about the therapist’s own issues or is multi-tasking. Talking to you is the priority – no distractions.
You feel talked to or at. The therapist asks questions to get to know you and collaborates with you on your care.
The therapist does not seem to take much interest in training or new approaches. The therapist has special training and experience in the issue that concerns you
The therapist seems tired or falls asleep. (Yes, I have heard this has happened for some!) The therapist is fully present, awake and tuned into you.
The therapist seems like a cheerleader, or a critic. They are either approving and happy for you or disapproving and critical of you. The therapist sees the good in you. They understand your self-destructive behavior as your efforts to cope with life that has been so hard that you have needed to escape the emotional pain. You feel heard, without being judged.

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